But we have no viable alternative but to face the pain.
If you are dealing with grief right now, you may want to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ 1969 book, On Death and Dying. She identifies five distinct stages in the grieving process. You may not experience these stages sequentially, but you will have to face each of them at one point or another. And at times you may even move back and forth between various grief stages.
The first is denial, in which you are in complete disbelief. The second stage is anger, wherein you demand to know why you, of all people, are suffering. This is followed by the third stage, depression, in which you may find yourself withdrawing from people and feeling guilty about past regrets. You may find yourself bargaining with God during the fourth stage, promising that if he would just fix the situation, you would do anything he asks of you. And the final stage is acceptance.
The grieving process is a painful road. But trying to take a detour will just get you lost!
By refusing to mourn your losses and work through the grieving process, you are likely to stay depressed, bitter or angry. Ever felt a dull ache in your chest or stomach? This is frequently the physical result of unresolved emotional pain.
In contrast, we can find inspiration in the testimony of Dr. Viktor Frankl—a man who turned his grief Into greatness through his book Man’s Search for Meaning,” an enduring work of survival literature. He used his experience as a gift back to mankind.
In 1942, the very year he married his wife, he and his entire family were sent to Theresienstadt, a concentration camp in Bohemia. Amid the daily horrors, the manuscript of his life’s work, The Doctor and The Soul, was destroyed. Then he got typhoid fever.
Despite these traumatic events, Frankl was energized by hope of one day reconstructing his book and being reunited with his family. But when he was finally liberated in 1945, he discovered that his wife, parents, and brother were all dead.
Yet life went on. Though emotionally crushed, the Vienna psychiatrist pressed on by accepting career advancement opportunities. In fact, he got married again and became a father. He also wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, explaining how we all can find purpose in life when faced with pain and suffering.
If ever there was someone who could legitimately feel sorry for himself, it was Frankl. Yet instead of assuming the role of a helpless victim, he made some startling conclusions about our ability to respond to the unfair events of life. “A human being is a deciding being,” Frankl wrote. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
In many ways, Viktor Frankl’s greatness wasn’t revealed until it seemed he had lost everything. His most enduring and life-changing discovery was this: “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”
And I’m deeply challenged by Frankl’s stunning observation while in the concentration camp: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” As a person who is constantly trying to improve my circumstances, I need to remember this. Regardless of whether I can change my situation, I CAN choose to change my attitude and my perspective.
Viktor Frankl’s life did not end when all hope seemed to be lost. He found a way to serve & and give back to others. So can you! You may be buried under the weight of crushing loss and pain. You may not know the meaning of your life right now. But pray for the courage to discover it. You may find a life more exciting and impactful than you ever dreamed possible.
What about you?• Think about a time when you felt victimized or faced an unpleasant situation you were unable to change. How did you respond?
• What do you think Frankl meant when he concluded that we have the power to choose our attitude and perspective, even if we can’t always choose our circumstances?
No comments:
Post a Comment