Remembering Bootsie at Charley’s Restaurant & Club

I first met Bootsie less than a year ago at a ladies’ getaway weekend at nearby Lake Norman. My friend Linda, who invited me, always spoke of how much she loved her sister Bootsie and how much fun they had together. Well, I love to have fun, so I didn’t hesitate to accept the invitation.

We lounged by the lake, ate together, exercised, shared our stories, and laughed a lot. Whenever Bootsie shared an insight or a story, I was all ears. She was a great storyteller, witty and so funny! She had me in belly laughs so many times that my sides hurt the next day.

   

During the weekend, Bootsie spent lots of time in the kitchen cooking for us. That’s when I tasted one of her signature dishes, the best Macaroni and Cheese in the South! I came away from that weekend feeling like I had known Bootsie my whole life.

The past few birthdays, I’ve been struggling with the shock of turning 50. I’ve been totally caught up in the transitions of an empty nest, menopause, downsizing, and life reinvention. But after attending Bootsie’s funeral last week, my complaining has been silenced. I was sobered by the fact that she won’t be here in her 50s. Cancer cut her down in the prime of life at age 49.

So I’ve decided to replace my complaining with gratitude. I need to be grateful for an empty nest, even if it’s lonely at times; grateful for menopause and all of its 7 dwarfs; grateful for letting go of a huge home and 2/3 of my possessions to live in a smaller, simpler abode; and grateful for the opportunity to reinvent myself and create a wonderful future.

According to Bootsie’s instructions, her  Memorial Celebration  was to be held at Charley’s Restaurant & Club rather than in a church or funeral home. And a Celebration of Life it was!!! With over 400 people, there was standing room only, with an overflow on the sidewalk outside. There were young people, old people, wealthy people, country folk, city folk, business people and bikers. Bootsie clearly had touched a lot of people during her lifetime.

Charley's Restaurant & Club - Gastonia, NC - Night Club | Facebook

www.facebook.com/charleysrestaurantandclub

Her loved ones described her as being a straight shooter with a heart of gold, willing to give you the shirt off her back. She was portrayed as a unique blend of the southern cook Paula Dean, the witty Roseanne Barr, the sassy Madea, and the mischievous Elvira. She loved handing out advice and pearls of wisdom, often to complete strangers she met in the nightclubs where her husband, “Buddy Love,” worked as a DJ.

Buddy Love | Facebook

www.facebook.com/bluvshak

Funerals make us face our own mortality. After the slide show and Eulogy, the Memorial Celebration  concluded with the release of helium-filled balloons outside, a fitting picture of letting go of our loved ones when we say good-bye.

Although I hadn’t known Bootsie for very long, the memories will last forever. I want to impact people’s lives like she did. Our loss truly is heaven’s gain.

The F Factor & Blinders

I always thought it was cruel to put blinders on horses, but now I’m having second thoughts. Maintaining a singular focus or what I like to call the F Factor seems impossible for many of us without the benefit of blinders to keep our eyes from straying to the distractions around us. For a person like me, distractions are a particular problem in the pursuit of my goals.

Tennis phenomenon Venus Williams is known for her focus and determination. Throughout her career, this two-time Olympic gold medalist has encountered many hurdles and criticisms, but she’s refused to let these distract her from tennis excellence.

I want the focus and tenacity of Venus Williams. Instead of being worried or distracted by the obstacles in my way, I want to keep my eyes on the goal line for my life. Instead of zigging and zagging through life, I want to take the straightest line to the end zone. I don’t want to let anything or anyone stop me in my mission.

As Americans, we live in a very distracting society. We have responsibilities that are often bewildering and draining: family, job, finances, health, church and friends all compete for our time and attention. If we do not have our eyes fixed steadfastly on the goal line, there will always be people who have agendas for our lives.

A question must be asked when people ask us to participate in a certain task: Would this activity lead me in the direction of the goal line for my life? As German writer and artist Johann Wolfgang von Goethe reminds us, “Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.”

The next time you see a horse with blinders on, remember this:  Blinders are your friend and not your enemy.  By eliminating distractions, you will be amazed at how much clearer the goal will appear.   

            

What about you?

List some of the ways putting on blinders can increase a singular focus or The F factor in your life?

Walk With A Doc This Valentines Day!

I recently heard about a wonderful program for heart patients and potential heart patients through one of my patients. It’s called “Walk With A Doc.” Walk with a Doc was created by Dr. David Sabgir, a board-certified cardiologist who practices with Mount Carmel Clinical Cardiovascular Specialists—at Mount Carmel St. Ann's in Columbus, Ohio, (My hometown).

Dr. Sabgir's walking program is led by doctors all over the country. I can’t think of a safer way to exercise than to have my doctor right next to me on a walk!

Regular aerobic exercise is critical for the health of your heart. You’ve heard it a million times – exercise is essential for good health, for weight loss or maintenance and for optimal mental health. An inactive lifestyle is one of the main reasons why people develop heart disease in the first place, so exercise is a critical component to maintaining a healthy heart! Regular aerobic exercise has many benefits in addition to maintaining a healthy cardiovascular system.

The risk for heart disease increases with age, with men at greater risk than women. The risk for men typically begins around the age of 45, while women seem to be protected up to the age of 55 due to the hormonal benefits associated with menopause.

When considering a heart-healthy exercise routine, it is important to keep in mind the following:

 •Thirty minutes of moderate exercise is recommended everyday, or at least most days of the week. This can be broken down into three 10-minute intervals.

•Exercising with a friend helps you to maintain a regular schedule, makes exercise more “social” and can help sustain motivation.

•Varying your routine keeps your interest level elevated.

•You do not need to join a gym or invest in expensive equipment. Brisk walking, biking, swimming, skating, skiing, rowing, tennis and jogging all count as aerobic exercise.

•Remember to include a five-minute warm-up, (e.g., stretching exercises) before any aerobic activity and a five- to 10-minute cool down period following any aerobic exercise.

•Choose an activity that you enjoy, or learn a new one, to maintain interest in your heart-healthy program. “I personally love power walking.”

•Keep in mind that the best exercise is the one that makes you feel good – and is one that you are willing to repeat again and again on a regular basis.

Consider Walking!

 According to the American Heart Association, walking has the lowest dropout rate of any physical activity. Cardiovascular disease can be controlled through a healthy diet and regular exercise.

Make walking a part of your fitness regimen. If you are looking for accountability and a healthy community consider the “Walk With A Doc” program. You can find out more by visiting www.walkwithadoc.org  Join your doctor and other people looking to improve their health at the next Walk With A Doc event. Ask your doctor for details.

Happy Valentines Day!

Nurse Mary

5 Essentials For Better Health in 2013

Question: What are the most important things I can do for better health in 2013?

Answer: The 5 Essentials, of course!

Health only comes from healthy habits practiced every day. Among the healthiest habits you can cultivate are sleeping well, eating well, enjoying your mobility, reducing stress and remaining clearly focused on your purpose in life.

Sleep

An Irish proverb says you can’t heal if you can’t sleep! Your body repairs itself while you sleep. Your hormones balance themselves while you sleep. Your mind integrates new information with old while you sleep. Even your emotions harmonize during sleep, primarily during your cycles of dreaming.

Humans are diurnal animals – awake during the day, asleep during the night. We need between 7 ½ and 9 hours of peaceful sleep every night. Our room should be cool, dark, quiet and comfortable. We should awaken feeling rested, energetic, optimistic and hungry!

Eat

Speaking of being hungry, food should be a source of joy, not an obsession. We do best when the foods in our diet are predominately plant-based. The more colorful and flavorful the foods are, the better they are for our health.

 

Select a variety of fruits and vegetables. The average size adult should consume between 7 and 9 servings daily. Chew well. Whenever possible, eat your meals with people you love!

Play


I have come to the conclusion that the English language doesn’t contain the right words to emphasize the importance of daily activity. Exercise doesn’t work – that sounds more like a punishment than the meaningful movement for which we were designed. I like the word “play,” but I have to say I am in the minority among my peers when I use it to describe our daily need for activity.

However we choose to describe it, we need to move. We were designed to move. The entire history of humanity up until this generation is a history of movement. The more we move, the more we are able to move and the more we will want to move.

Exercise (what a bad word!) should be a source of joy, not a punishment. We should find a way to play daily for optimum health.

Happy hour

We need a time to unwind every day. Our 24/7/365 lifestyle is killing us. More important, stress makes us miserable and it also makes us miserable company. Find time – make time – to relax and unwind every day, preferably with people you love!

Purpose

Interestingly, people without purpose are among the sickest in the world. Conversely, purpose demands of us that we take care of ourselves. Purpose makes us healthy; it is our reason for being healthy.

Purpose is not defined as what you do. Rather, it is defined as who you are while you are doing what you do.  It is as unique to you as your fingerprint and it would still be relevant to you as an individual if you were born a thousand years ago or a thousand years in the future. Purpose is not defined by circumstance, gender, location or occupation. It is the simple, timeless truth about who you are. People who discover their purpose have the greatest opportunity for health!

Remember, health only comes from healthy habits practiced daily. These habits are bound up in these 5 Essentials for Better Health. Supply yourself with the nutrients and nurturing you need and optimum health will be the outcome!

What About You?

How can you apply these 5 essentials for better health to your life this year?

Getting Unstuck Again

Last year was filled with transitions. It was a year of getting unstuck! Limbo-like situations that hovered over my life were finally addressed and overcome. I am so grateful and enjoying sweet relief. My debt is gone, we downsized and moved into a smaller more manageable home, my 6’4” baby started college at University of North Carolina in Wilmington, I redirected my nursing career after a trial run as a Cardiac Nurse in the hospital, back to my real passion, Wellness Nursing.  I am now working as a Health Coach & Life Coach. I have recently had the pleasure of speaking at the Charlotte Chamber of Commerce on Work-Life Balance.  After being on a short sabbatical, it feels good to get back out into the community, meet new people, and share my gifts with others. I still really miss my mother who passed away in October of 2011; I always will.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to 2013 with expectancy and hope. I look forward to sharing my weekly blog containing snapshots of wisdom from my life.  As a baby boomer I’ve had years of experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly in life. I’ve learned a lot about resilience, boundaries, forgiveness, the importance of health and financial fitness. I love my generation and as a young baby boomer born at the tail end of the boom, I look forward to encouraging those who have gone before me as well as the generations behind me.  

I look forward to sharing about bouncing back, navigating through transitions and so much more.  I will also be blogging about the life areas and challenge areas found in the Source Coaching Curriculum, created by my friend and mentor Kathrine Lee.   Each month we focus on a new life area. This month the life area is “Curiosity & Learning.” 

What about you?

I am curious to know…where do you feel stuck? What do you need to let go of so you can you move on in your life?

Let me know!

Exercise – A Natural High!

When I ran the 26.2 mile Marine Corp Marathon in 2000, I felt totally elated for hours after the race. I experienced a wonderful natural high! I felt so good, I didn’t even notice my tired aching legs until that evening.   Running, cycling, swimming and walking are all great ways to increase endorphin production and feel better naturally.

Want to feel good on a regular basis and just be “high” on life? Then exercise! Exercise releases endorphins in the brain. What are endorphins? They’re the body’s own natural painkillers that produce feelings of euphoria. Not only are they free, but they’re available without a prescription. But be warned: they are habit forming!

Scientists accidentally discovered the “feel good” benefits of endorphins when they conducted studies on drug addiction in the 1970s. They found that the brain produced chemicals that far exceed the strength of opium, morphine or even heroin.

The body releases endorphins during stressful periods and in response to regular physical activity. It’s why someone involved in a life-threatening accident doesn’t feel any pain. In addition, many athletes claim to feel “great” after a particularly strenuous workout session. These can be explained by the effects of these natural brain chemicals. In fact, many who participate in regular exercise programs become “addicted” to it because of the natural high they experience.

Running, cycling and swimming are all known to release feel-good endorphins. If you suffer from depression, are stressed out or just want to feel better, exercise. Take a walk or jog around a local park, jump on a treadmill, lift some weights, do some Pilates, throw on a workout DVD – anything to get yourself moving. Stay with it long enough and you too will become addicted!

I don’t know about you but I am definitely addicted to exercise. It’s one of the best prescriptions for decreasing stress and increasing well-being in life. And the best part, it really works!

What about you?

What exercise do you enjoy doing? 

Big Hairy Audacious Goal & My Blogaversary

Just one short year ago I began a blog. Technically this is my Blogaversary!  I’ve had so much fun this past year writing and have enjoyed the encouragement and feedback from my readers. I plan on Blogging for many years to come.

It has been very fulfilling to achieve this secret ambition that I contemplated for years. Perfectionism stopped me for awhile, but I finally decided to throw caution to the wind and got started.

I love words and I love expressing myself through writing, whether it’s a song lyric, journal entry, article or book. So this modern method of communication is definitely something that resonates with who I am. I get lost in bookstores and libraries. Besides my daily walking ritual, where my creative thoughts flow clearly and my energy is restored, I enjoy reading, writing and research more than any other activity in the world. Time flies when I participate in this sacred endeavor, and I often have difficulty pulling away and moving on to the next necessary life task.

With the one year anniversary of this blog, I have finally recognized my passion, which has been a part of my life since I was a little girl writing in my diary. I finally have clarity about how I’m “wired,” and I’ve launched a sustainable plan for executing and integrating blogging into my busy life. It is a joy to share my life experiences and I love expressing this in the blog format. I am having a blast, connecting and encouraging others, and this feels good! I’m in my zone!

I encourage you to find your passion and do everything in your power to make it happen! It is worth it!

What about you?

What is your BHAG for 2013? Maybe it is a secret ambition that you have been thinking about for years.  I’d love to hear from you!