My sweet mother passed away on October 18th of
last year. This is her blog…
I received
a call from my mom one Monday evening a little over one year ago. In fact, she called me twice, since I
missed her first call.
Mom didn’t have much on her mind—she just wanted to tell me
she loved me. And I assured her that I loved her too.
I didn’t think our conversation was out of the ordinary
until the following morning, when I received an urgent phone call from my
brother John. “Mary,” he told me, “Mom’s in the hospital. She wasn’t breathing
well in the morning, and Dad couldn’t get her to wake up. So he called the
paramedics, and they took her to St. Ann’s Hospital.”
John called me a few hours later with a sobering update.
“The doctors say she’s on the verge of dying—maybe in hours or maybe in a week.
But there’s nothing more they can do for her.”
I packed up a few clothes and in a little over eight
hours—1:30 a.m.—I was in Mom’s hospital room. Although she was lying
unconscious and struggling to breath, her face glowed and her skin appeared
remarkably smooth and clear, like that of a little child. Oxygen and morphine
eased her pain and helped her find some solace.
But Mom was dying.
I felt so helpless. For long minutes, I had no words.
Finally, I pressed closer to the bed, caressed Mom’s face,
gently arranged her hair, and grabbed her frail hand. Kissing her on the
forehead, I said, “I love you, Mom.” And somehow I felt her loving me back.
I had no idea this would be the final kiss…but it was.
No sooner had I taken John home than we received the dreaded
call that Mom was gone. She had passed into eternity mere moments after I
kissed her goodnight.
When we got back to the hospital, Dad told us, “Mom had it
harder than most, but she did the best she could. Now she can get some rest.”
Some rest. Truly that was what Mom needed. Finding deep rest
for our souls is the great antidote to life’s annoying loose ends and lightning
bolts. And this is exactly what Jesus promised those who come to Him: “You will
find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).
In the weeks and months since Mom’s death, my mind has been
a whirlwind of thoughts…pleasant memories of her life…how much I miss her...the
brevity of life…and my own mortality.
I’ve remembered a song I wrote for a friend’s funeral many
years before:
In the laughter of a
baby…the sky so clear and blue…the gentle breezes blowing bring remembrance of
you.
In the early hours at
daybreak…with the passing of each day…in the quiet of the evening I can hear
the angels say:
She’s in the hands of
God now, in the hands of God, resting safely in His presence and His love.
With the changing of
the seasons…realizing we’re apart…when I want to know the reasons for the void
within my heart.
I can hear the angels
say:
She’s in the hands of
God now, in the hands of God, resting safely in His presence and His love.
I once heard someone say, “A goodbye is never painful unless
you’re never going to say hello again.” Well, that’s simply not true. It has
still been painful to say goodbye to my mom, even though I fully expect to say
hello to her again in heaven one day.
But our heavenly hope does indeed help to make the loss
easier to cope with. An unknown author made this profound observation: “Missing
someone gets easier every day, because even though it’s one day further from
the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you
will.”
What a beautiful thought! Every day that passes, I’m one day
closer to my reunion with Mom and other loved ones who’ve gone ahead of me.
Yes, goodbyes are painful. But when I think of my
relationship with Mom, I remember this line from the musical “Annie”: “How
lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
And I’m so grateful to know that, for believers, a final
kiss is never truly final. As an anonymous poet wrote:
Goodbyes are not
forever. Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I’ll
miss you, Until we meet again.
I’ll miss you, Mom. But I know we’ll be together again
soon—in a beautiful place where there’s no more pain, worry or death.
What about you?
• Think
about friends and loved ones who have died. Have you taken time to put them “in
the hands of God” and resolve their passing in your heart? If not, pause for a
few minutes to do so now.
• We
seldom know which kiss will be the “final” one for a loved one while on this
earth. Make a list of friends and loved ones you need to express your love to.
