If You’re Downsized, Don’t Despair

My friend Kathrine Lee says, “A setback is just a set up for comeback.”  

My job had been touch and go for several months. After eight excellent years, it seemed that my season as a corporate health nurse was coming to an end.

To hundreds of my fond patients, I was “Nurse Mary,” their knowledgeable, supportive and caring health professional. In their eyes, I could do no wrong. But despite these rave reviews from patients and a glowing article about me in the Charlotte Observer, I was feeling the need for a change.

For months, my heart had been torn between love for my job and a growing passion for my own entrepreneurial pursuits. I’ve heard stories about mama eagles who “stir up the nest” to make it uncomfortable for their baby eaglets to stay where they are.

This is what happened on my job. Every time I turned around, the same few people were complaining about something, and I was constantly under the microscope. Although my yearly performance reviews were great, on a daily and weekly basis my boss seemed to nitpick about my smallest shortcomings.

And then the axe fell. My job ended with an inglorious thud. I was hurt, but not totally surprised. And my heart was already elsewhere: with my children…my music…my books…and my entrepreneurial projects.

Yes, getting downsized can be frustrating, but I’ve found that it also provides a great opportunity to reinvent ourselves. In recent years I’ve met tons of people who became discontented in with their jobs—like me, tired of feeling like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Dreamers and entrepreneurs are “eagles” at heart. It’s hard for them to endure being put in a cage or confined to a nest.

But being downsized turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I determined that instead of allowing this to get me DOWN, I would use it as an opportunity to look UP and launch into something new and better!

Painful as it was, this difficult experience enabled me to reinvent myself as an author, speaker and life coach. I have also gone back to hospital nursing on a cardiac unit and love it! Reading EKG’s is fascinating! It turned out being downsized gave me a needed kick in the rear end, resulting in a new season of focus and vitality.

What about you?

Have you ever lost a job or faced some other difficult situation when you felt rejected or afraid? If so, how did you respond?

Put On Blinders To Help You See

Put on Blinders to Help You See

I always thought it was cruel to put blinders on horses, but now I’m having second thoughts. Maintaining a singular focus seems impossible for many of us without the benefit of blinders to keep our eyes from straying to the distractions around us. For a person like me, distractions are a particular problem in the pursuit of my goals.

Tennis phenomenon Venus Williams is known for her focus and determination. Throughout her career, this two-time Olympic gold medalist has encountered many hurdles and criticisms, but she’s refused to let these distract her from tennis excellence.

I want the focus and tenacity of Venus Williams. Instead of being worried or distracted by the obstacles in my way, I want to keep my eyes on the goal line for my life. Instead of zigging and zagging through life, I want to take the straightest line to the end zone. I don’t want to let anything or anyone stop me in my mission.

As Americans, we live in a very distracting society. We have responsibilities that are often bewildering and draining: family, job, finances, health, church and friends all compete for our time and attention. If we do not have our eyes fixed steadfastly on the goal line, there will always be people who have agendas for our lives.

A question must be asked when people ask us to participate in a certain task: Would this activity lead me in the direction of the goal line for my life? As German writer and artist Johann Wolfgang von Goethe reminds us, “Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least.”

The next time you see a horse with blinders on, remember this: Blinders are your friend and not your enemy. By eliminating distractions, you will be amazed at how many of your loose ends disappear, enabling you to see the goal line clearer than ever.           

Don't Swing At Every Pitch

Most of us have a number of different roles in life. For example, I’m a wife, mother, friend, nurse, musician, and speaker. I’ve had to develop a clear grid for prioritizing the demands of these different roles. Many people want my help, and many “pitches” are thrown my way.

But I’ve discovered that it’s not necessarily my responsibility to swing just because someone throws me a ball. Can you imagine a batter who swings at every pitch? That’s a great way to strike out a lot!

I used to be frazzled by the obligation I felt to handle every task thrown my way.  What a relief it has been to realize I don’t need to swing at every pitch someone tosses to me.

People will try to lure you into shouldering their responsibilities and solving their problems, especially if you are a leader. Then they’ll try to make you feel guilty when you’re unable to handle the tasks they throw your way.

I’m all too familiar with this scenario. I hate to let people down or tell them I simply don’t have the time or energy to take on the task they want to give me. It has been hard for me to admit my limitations, for I would much rather be “Superwoman” and have an unlimited capacity to help people.

But now I can tell you with great certainty: When you automatically swing at every pitch, you will find yourself overwhelmed, resentful and burnt out. It’s no fun, and a sure prescription for unhappiness, anxiety, and depression.

Now that I have started choosing my pitches more carefully, filtering them through my mission statement and goals. I have far fewer strikeouts and many more base hits and home runs.

Don’t be afraid to say no at times. Quit feeling guilty if you don’t have the time or energy to help people in every situation. It’s alright to focus!

What about you?

What responsibilities are you shouldering merely out of guilt or a fear of what people will think of you?

Ignore Naysayers & Other Donkeys

When I graduated from high school, my parents threw me a big graduation party and invited lots of friends and relatives. It was a wonderful celebration, a time to look forward to a bright and happy future. I had received a scholarship to a nearby college and was very excited about the next step on my journey in life.
But not everyone was so excited about my prospects. One of my relatives from out of town asked me what I was planning to do. When I replied that I was going to college to be a nurse, he paused for a second, looked me right in the eyes, and said: “You’ll never make it!”
I was shocked. His words kept reverberating in my head: “You’ll never make it!” I couldn’t believe that someone who should have been encouraging my success and well-being was now betting against me.
Finally I regained my composure and told him he was wrong. “Yes, I will make it,” I told him firmly. And at that moment I decided that no matter what challenges I faced in nursing school, I was going to prove my naysaying relative wrong!
I’ll admit, even though I determined to succeed in nursing school and prove my naysaying relative wrong, it wasn’t easy. Good grades didn’t come easy for me, and halfway through my first semester I got mononucleosis and had to be sent home to rest and recover. Was I tempted to quit? Absolutely. Yet instead I persevered, and the words of my pessimistic relative actually fueled my determination.
Before long I was graduating from nursing school and starting my job at a prestigious hospital. Nursing has been a wonderful career, allowing me to reinvent myself from pediatric nurse to fitness nurse to cardiac nurse. I am so glad I didn’t allow a naysayer rob me of my goals and dreams.
What about you
Are you letting naysayers keep you from your goals and dreams? If so, how can that be turned into fuel to motivate you on your journey?