Find A Kindred Spirit

Although most of our friendships are only for a season, I hope you will be fortunate enough to find one or two lifelong friends—people who walk with you throughout the ups and downs of your life journey.
While watching the movie Anne of Green Gables several years ago, I was struck by a statement from Anne Shirley, the main character. Anne referred to her newly found friend, Diana Barry, as a “kindred spirit” and a “bosom friend,” explaining, “My greatest wish...has always been to have a bosom friend, a really kindred spirit. I’ve dreamt of meeting her all my life.” Her statement resonated with my heart. “I want a friend like that, too!”
Some people spend their entire lives searching for such a “kindred spirit.” They crave the closeness Anne had with Diana—a relationship where each could share her heart without fear of rejection. “Bosom friends” like that are rare indeed, but when we meet them, it is such a gift—one of the most fulfilling experiences in life.
Do you have a close friend like this? Often when you meet such a person, it’s as if you’ve known each other your entire lives. They understand you, and you feel safe to be yourself when you’re around them. Sometimes they challenge you and hold you accountable, and at other times they realize you need them to cut you some slack.
You don’t need to walk on eggshells around a bosom friend. You can share on a deep level and tell them what you’re really thinking and feeling. They listen intently, and you come away from every conversation feeling refreshed and affirmed.
True friends know the importance of making “deposits” in each other’s emotional bank accounts. Yes, our kindred friends will sometimes need to make a “withdrawal” from our time and emotional reserves. But that’s OK. They’ve already made deposits and invested themselves into our lives. So it never remains just a one-way street.
Often a kindred spirit will have similar interests, a compatible purpose in life, and enjoyment in the same kinds of activities and adventures. In her book, 10-10-10, Suzy Welch describes this as “sharing the same sensibilities.” Sensibilities are beliefs, goals, and priorities.
But true friends can be hard to find. And Zig Ziglar correctly points out that instead of spending our time looking for a friend, it’s a wiser to focus on BEING a friend: “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

What about you?
Make a list of the traits you value most in a close relationship. Now take a few minutes to ask yourself whether you are demonstrating these characteristics in your current friendships. Note any improvements you need to make in modeling these traits.