Laurie Beth Jones, one of my favorite experts on the topic of personality types is a nationally acclaimed management guru, best-selling author, and speaker, has developed a fantastic tool for understanding the people and relationships in your life. The Path Elements Profile (PEP) is an online personality assessment that classifies people into four different personality categories, which she refers to as the Four Elements of Success: Earth, Water, Wind and Fire.
Just as everyone has a unique physical DNA, God has designed us with a unique personality and spiritual DNA as well. As the saying goes, “It takes all kinds!”
“Earth” people are very detail-oriented and reliable. They want structure and stability, and it may take some time to gain their trust. They don’t like chaos, clutter, unpredictability or a change in plans. Yet these are exactly the people you want to involve in long-term planning projects, because they are so disciplined and orderly. If you are an “Earth” person, then you may be more effective in your relationships with others if you learn to be more laid back and flexible.
“Water” people value kindness and thrive in a harmonious environment. They’re easygoing but tent to be people-pleasers and doormats. If you fit this description, you may need to toughen up in order to maximize your relationships with others.
“Wind” people have many ideas for change and flourish when given attention and flexibility. They tend to be creative, restless, spontaneous and unpredictable. If this is you, you may need to concentrate more on listening, reliability and not being the center of attention all the time.
“Fire” people thrive best when given authority. These people are the movers and shakers who see many possibilities in bringing about change. They are hard-driving and thrive on challenge. Sometimes they are perceived as rude and domineering. If you are a “Fire” person, then you will maximize your relationships by humbling yourself, sharing the glory, and honoring the opinions of others.
Some issues in life are matters of “right and wrong.” Two plus two equals four, and there really isn’t much room for alternative viewpoints on the subject. However, many issues are matters of preference, not truth. If blue is your favorite color and green is mine, the issue is not who is right and who is wrong—it’s strictly a matter of taste.
We can save a lot of time and energy by following the advice found in the prayer of St. Francis: “Oh Master, grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand...to be loved as to love with all my soul.” St. Francis realized that instead of pursuing the fruitless goal of causing people to understand us, it is far more profitable to seek to understand them.
This is often because as Americans we tend to get on a self-righteous high horse and assume that every difference of opinion is a matter of truth and error. Even if the issue truly is a question of right and wrong, we will do far better to remember a simple word that applies to all situations: R-E-S-P-E-C-T (remember the old Aretha Franklin song?).
Respect and honor are often forgotten tools in our relationship toolbox. Having these character traits doesn’t mean we should compromise our convictions or assume everyone else is right and we are wrong. It simply means taking time to truly listen to the viewpoint of others. Too often, though, we’re already forming our response to people before we’ve even heard what they have to say!
Love your neighbors as yourself. You don’t know where they’ve been or what they’ve struggled with. Treat them with respect and honor, even if you don’t think they deserve it.
What about you?
Are you able to show respect even to people you disagree with?
No comments:
Post a Comment