A Memorable Christmas Eve

A Memorable Christmas Eve

         

What would you say if someone asked you about your favorite Christmas memory? I know I have lots of great memories of Christmas as a kid, but this year I find myself thinking of a Christmas Eve just nine years ago.

As we pulled into our quiet suburban neighborhood in the early evening, driveways were lined with glowing candles in paper bags. This was no ordinary Christmas Eve, full of our usual family traditions. Instead, the candles illuminating our neighborhood that night were in honor of 12-year-old Hope Stout, who was fighting for her life as she battled a rare form of bone cancer.

We parked our car and made our way to the Stuart and Shelby Stout’s home, where more than 150 people had gathered to pray for a miracle for their daughter. Although Hope was too frail to come outside and join us, the front door was ajar so she could hear her candle-holding neighbors offer prayers and sing “Silent Night” and other carols.

Sadly, Hope didn’t get the miracle we prayed for that night. She went to her heavenly home on January 4, not even two weeks after our Christmas Eve prayer vigil.

However, the story of Hope and her family didn’t end there. When approached by the Make-a-Wish Foundation and asked to make a final wish, Hope had told them her wish was to grant the wishes of the 155 other kids on their list. She had mentioned this in an interview with local radio host Keith Larson, and the idea went viral, touching thousands of people with the beauty of Hope’s selfless wish.

One of the people in our chilly Christmas Eve gathering had been Kevin Donnelly, a member of the Carolina Panthers. With Kevin’s help, Hope’s story was featured on nationwide TV at halftime during a Panthers game. Hope’s picture was flashed on the JumboTron screen at the game, resulting in a flood of donations to Make-a-Wish.

Since then, the Stout family has created MarchForthWithHope.com to bring comfort and financial assistance to other kids and families that are facing terminal illnesses. They’ve raised more than three million dollars to help these kids, and an inspirational movie is being produced about Hope’s amazing legacy.

You see, Hope’s story is far from over.

Last week we all were horrified by news of innocent children in Newtown, Connecticut, being slaughtered by a deranged young man. There’s no way to make any sense of such violence, so I won’t even try. But one thing I do know, the stories of these precious children will not end with this tragedy. For there is no pain so great, nor evil so deep, that God can’t turn it around to bring healing and transformation and hope.

Brace for the Final Kiss

My sweet mother passed away on October 18^th of last year. This is her blog…

I received a call from my mom one Monday evening a little over one year ago. In fact, she called me twice, since I missed her first call.

Mom didn’t have much on her mind—she just wanted to tell me she loved me. And I assured her that I loved her too.

I didn’t think our conversation was out of the ordinary until the following morning, when I received an urgent phone call from my brother John. “Mary,” he told me, “Mom’s in the hospital. She wasn’t breathing well in the morning, and Dad couldn’t get her to wake up. So he called the paramedics, and they took her to St. Ann’s Hospital.”

John called me a few hours later with a sobering update. “The doctors say she’s on the verge of dying—maybe in hours or maybe in a week. But there’s nothing more they can do for her.”

I packed up a few clothes and in a little over eight hours—1:30 a.m.—I was in Mom’s hospital room. Although she was lying unconscious and struggling to breath, her face glowed and her skin appeared remarkably smooth and clear, like that of a little child. Oxygen and morphine eased her pain and helped her find some solace.

But Mom was dying.

I felt so helpless. For long minutes, I had no words.

Finally, I pressed closer to the bed, caressed Mom’s face, gently arranged her hair, and grabbed her frail hand. Kissing her on the forehead, I said, “I love you, Mom.” And somehow I felt her loving me back.

I had no idea this would be the final kiss…but it was.

No sooner had I taken John home than we received the dreaded call that Mom was gone. She had passed into eternity mere moments after I kissed her goodnight.

When we got back to the hospital, Dad told us, “Mom had it harder than most, but she did the best she could. Now she can get some rest.”

Some rest. Truly that was what Mom needed. Finding deep rest for our souls is the great antidote to life’s annoying loose ends and lightning bolts. And this is exactly what Jesus promised those who come to Him: “You will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).

In the weeks and months since Mom’s death, my mind has been a whirlwind of thoughts…pleasant memories of her life…how much I miss her...the brevity of life…and my own mortality.

I’ve remembered a song I wrote for a friend’s funeral many years before:

In the laughter of a baby…the sky so clear and blue…the gentle breezes blowing bring remembrance of you.

In the early hours at daybreak…with the passing of each day…in the quiet of the evening I can hear the angels say:

She’s in the hands of God now, in the hands of God, resting safely in His presence and His love.

With the changing of the seasons…realizing we’re apart…when I want to know the reasons for the void within my heart.

I can hear the angels say:

She’s in the hands of God now, in the hands of God, resting safely in His presence and His love.

I once heard someone say, “A goodbye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.” Well, that’s simply not true. It has still been painful to say goodbye to my mom, even though I fully expect to say hello to her again in heaven one day.

But our heavenly hope does indeed help to make the loss easier to cope with. An unknown author made this profound observation: “Missing someone gets easier every day, because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will.”

What a beautiful thought! Every day that passes, I’m one day closer to my reunion with Mom and other loved ones who’ve gone ahead of me.

Yes, goodbyes are painful. But when I think of my relationship with Mom, I remember this line from the musical “Annie”: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

And I’m so grateful to know that, for believers, a final kiss is never truly final. As an anonymous poet wrote:

Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end.

They simply mean I’ll miss you, Until we meet again.

I’ll miss you, Mom. But I know we’ll be together again soon—in a beautiful place where there’s no more pain, worry or death.

What about you?

•              Think about friends and loved ones who have died. Have you taken time to put them “in the hands of God” and resolve their passing in your heart? If not, pause for a few minutes to do so now.

•              We seldom know which kiss will be the “final” one for a loved one while on this earth. Make a list of friends and loved ones you need to express your love to.

A Personalized Christmas

I love the Christmas Season! It's the time of year when my home feels the coziest, has the most colorful decorations and smells the yummiest. And I love Christmas music, even if it does start at Thanksgiving or before! I grew up in the snow belt of northern Ohio so most of my early Christmases were snow white, filled with sled riding, ice skating, and sipping hot chocolate by the crackling fire place. It also was a great time for seeing distant cousins or aunts and uncles I had practically lost touch with during the year.

I am also reminded of so many memories from all the years spent raising our children. I even have fond memories of the times when I was a "Zombie Mom" by Christmas day, as I backed dozens of cookies and tried to make everything just perfect for my family. Now that the kids are grown, I'm both missing and enjoying my new "toy-less" holidays. 

I spent most of last Saturday pulling out our decorations and placing them in their spot. Some of them are hand-me-downs, others were gifts and some of them I bought purposefully for a specific place in my home.

This year I’m trying more than ever before to “personalize” my Christmas. Instead of just humming the Christmas carols mindlessly, I’m asking God to make each one truly real in my life. He not only wants to proclaim joy to THE world, He wants to bring joy to OUR personal world. And just as we celebrate His love for the world in sending His Son at Christmas, let’s remember how much He loves EACH of us personally.

This year I’m also reminded that Christmas not only is a great time for fond memories from the past, but it’s also a great time for anticipating the joys and challenges of another year. What are YOU looking forward to in your life in 2013?

What about you?

How are you going to enjoy the holiday this year?

Favorite Things

I love the song My Favorite Things, from “The Sound of Music.” I’ve found myself humming it lately, thinking about MY favorite things this Christmas season.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites. When the bee stings. When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad

If my siblings and I could have added a verse to this song when we were kids, we would have also included some of our favorite toys. Let’s sing along together…

Troll Dolls & Barbies & EZ Bake Ovens

Legos & Twister & Rockem ~ Sockem Robots

Etch-A-Sketch & Hot Wheels & Lite Brite & Nerf

These are a few of my favorite toys!

So what about you? Hopefully you’re not still obsessed with Troll Dolls and Barbies. But what do you truly value in your life? The holiday season is such a great time to reflect on this question and prepare our hearts for a great new ahead.

Happy Holiday!

Happy Holiday! The Christmas season has finally arrived. We have all known it was coming and observed signs of its arrival in the mall as far back as Halloween.

Let's face it: The holiday season can be a really stressful time. Traffic delays, long lines at the grocery store, budgeting for gifts, hosting and attending parties, dealing with travel and relatives. This can be overwhelming, shifting us into fight-or-flight mode before we even realize it.

I used to run myself ragged and be sick from exhaustion by December 25 each year. I thought I needed to decorate my house top to bottom, put a light show in my yard, bake 12 different types of cookies, participate in numerous outreach events, attend every event and party I was invited to, travel to all my relatives’ homes, purchase the perfect gift (no matter the price) for my long list of friends and relatives, send cards to hundreds people from my past and present—and the list goes on. Instead of enjoying the holiday, I was spreading myself thin trying to please everyone in my life.

How can we reduce the stress and truly make this the season to be jolly? We can start by asking ourselves what is really important to us this season. Is it about the gifts, sending out holiday cards, participating in the parties and events, preparing lavish home-cooked meals and baked goods, planning family travels or outreaches to the needy, or simply relaxing and connecting with friends and family?

We can try to “do it all,” but this will inevitably leave us drained and exhausted. A far better approach is to identify what we enjoy, what fills our emotional tank, and what truly makes this season a time of peace, joy, and goodwill toward others.

When we are at peace with ourselves—finding real enjoyment in the season—we have so much more to give to others.

This year I’ve decided to spend time daily in meditation and prayer. I also want to simplify my decorating, stick to my gift budget, and enjoy my close friends and family. And I am not sure how much cooking I am going to do, but that’s okay.

What about you?

How will you enjoy peace on earth while making your holiday merry and bright!

Gratitudes

I have kept a journal since I was a little girl. It was my safe place to share my thoughts and feelings about life.  My journal has always been a place for expressing joy & happiness as well as sorrow & grief:  a therapeutic place to process feelings and dream dreams. When life became difficult and crazy busy as it so often does, my journal went to the wayside. It became a job, another task to fit into my jam packed day.

I came across a journal entry a few years ago and remembered why it had been so important to me.  I started journaling again, this time I began including gratitude at the end of every entry.  A reinvention of my personal journaling  process. This simple exercise transformed my attitude about life and the situations I worked through in my journal.   I then made it my ritual to include what I call gratitudes in all of my entries.

 My life is still crazy busy, and I didn’t want my ritual to slip away, so I came up with an efficient way to count my blessings.  I write 3-5 gratitudes in my daily planner at the end of each day. This small gesture has created a powerful reminder in my life of how very blessed I am. It brings joy & delight as I reflect upon the simple & profound moments of each day.  And the best part, it only takes a few minutes!

I use a paper calendar now, but my goal is to start journaling electronically. That way, whenever there is a grateful moment, I can note it right on the spot. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that appreciating whatever shows up in life changes perspective. Our energy goes from negative to positive. We generate more kindness towards ourselves and others when we focus on all that we have instead of our have-nots. It is truly one of the best attitude adjusters out there!

What about you?

Take time this month to count your blessings.  Purchase a journal or start an electronic log. Notice how your attitude changes and your joy returns.

Turn Your Grief Into Greatness

The grieving process hurts like heck. Just ask my aunt who lost her son in 1982 when a military plane crashed into the Potomac River. Or my cousin whose son was killed by a landmine in Iraq.
But we have no viable alternative but to face the pain.

If you are dealing with grief right now, you may want to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ 1969 book, On Death and Dying. She identifies five distinct stages in the grieving process. You may not experience these stages sequentially, but you will have to face each of them at one point or another. And at times you may even move back and forth between various grief stages.

The first is denial, in which you are in complete disbelief. The second stage is anger, wherein you demand to know why you, of all people, are suffering. This is followed by the third stage, depression, in which you may find yourself withdrawing from people and feeling guilty about past regrets. You may find yourself bargaining with God during the fourth stage, promising that if he would just fix the situation, you would do anything he asks of you. And the final stage is acceptance.

The grieving process is a painful road. But trying to take a detour will just get you lost!
By refusing to mourn your losses and work through the grieving process, you are likely to stay depressed, bitter or angry. Ever felt a dull ache in your chest or stomach? This is frequently the physical result of unresolved emotional pain.

 In contrast, we can find inspiration in the testimony of Dr. Viktor Frankl—a man who turned his grief Into greatness through his book Man’s Search for Meaning,” an enduring work of survival literature. He used his experience as a gift back to mankind.

In 1942, the very year he married his wife, he and his entire family were sent to Theresienstadt, a concentration camp in Bohemia. Amid the daily horrors, the manuscript of his life’s work, The Doctor and The Soul, was destroyed. Then he got typhoid fever.

Despite these traumatic events, Frankl was energized by hope of one day reconstructing his book and being reunited with his family. But when he was finally liberated in 1945, he discovered that his wife, parents, and brother were all dead.

Yet life went on. Though emotionally crushed, the Vienna psychiatrist pressed on by accepting career advancement opportunities. In fact, he got married again and became a father. He also wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, explaining how we all can find purpose in life when faced with pain and suffering.

If ever there was someone who could legitimately feel sorry for himself, it was Frankl. Yet instead of assuming the role of a helpless victim, he made some startling conclusions about our ability to respond to the unfair events of life. “A human being is a deciding being,” Frankl wrote. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

In many ways, Viktor Frankl’s greatness wasn’t revealed until it seemed he had lost everything. His most enduring and life-changing discovery was this: “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

And I’m deeply challenged by Frankl’s stunning observation while in the concentration camp: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” As a person who is constantly trying to improve my circumstances, I need to remember this. Regardless of whether I can change my situation, I CAN choose to change my attitude and my perspective.

Viktor Frankl’s life did not end when all hope seemed to be lost. He found a way to serve & and give back to others.  So can you! You may be buried under the weight of crushing loss and pain. You may not know the meaning of your life right now. But pray for the courage to discover it. You may find a life more exciting and impactful than you ever dreamed possible.

What about you?• Think about a time when you felt victimized or faced an unpleasant situation you were unable to change. How did you respond?

• What do you think Frankl meant when he concluded that we have the power to choose our attitude and perspective, even if we can’t always choose our circumstances?
 

Take a Radical Sabbatical

If you had a whole day to do whatever you wanted, what would you do? I’m talking about a day when you don’t have to worry about housework, cooking dinner, paying bills, driving the kids to soccer practice, or checking e-mails from work.  A day when you have no responsibilities at all—zip, zero, nada.

Sound pretty radical? Absolutely. But it also would be life-changing!

Even as a young girl, my daughter Abbie was hard-working and project-oriented. And although she loved spending time with friends and family, sometimes she had simply had enough. Deciding that she needed some “Abbie time,” she would light some candles, take a bubble bath, and then hide out in her room for a day or two. She would hang a big sign on her bedroom door:

ON A PERSONAL RETREAT

Please Do Not Disturb!

Abbie learned that she always came away from such times reinvigorated and full of fresh creativity and passion for life. This was quite an example for her hyperactive, Mrs. Fix-It mom.

As a wellness nurse, I’ve always been great at preaching to others that leisure, rest, recreation and play are crucial to their physical and emotional health. But I’ll admit…this is hard for me, and I’ve often found myself being quite a hypocrite.

During the rare moments of life when I find myself with nothing to do, a little voice tends to pop up in my brain, saying, “Don’t just sit there idly. Get busy and DO something!” At those frequent moments, my dear husband Jim has to remind me that even GOD took time to rest from His work (Exodus 20:8-11). Shouldn’t we as well?!

I hope you can periodically spend a few days at a mountain retreat center or even just follow Abbie’s example and hang a Do Not Disturb sign on your bedroom door. But if that’s not feasible right now, how about taking some baby steps? You can take a long walk in the woods, hike to the top of a nearby mountain, spend half a day browsing through books at your favorite bookstore, or taking a few hours at the park to pray, read your Bible, and write in your journal.

Author Stephen R. Covey calls this important process “sharpening your saw.” And maybe you’ve heard the old proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Well, taking frequent “radical sabbaticals” will keep you from getting a dull blade—or just being dull for that matter!

Your time away from the hustle and bustle of life will allow you to unwind, unclog your brain, and regain your sense of vision and purpose. You’ll be able to connect again with your Master Designer and rediscover His unique design for your life.

Let’s face it: Burning the candle at both ends is a sure path toward early burnout. It’s no accident that the first four letters of the word “restoration” are REST!

So get busy and rest! You’ll be so glad you did.

What about you?

 •            Take a few minutes to write down what you would do on a perfect “radical sabbatical.”

•             Now get out your calendar and figure out when you can block out some time to make this happen. You may need to also explain to your spouse, kids or employer why this is vitally important to you!

 

Stretch Out Your Withered Hand

In the Source this month we are focusing on the life area of Service & Giving back. I have learned that when we feel the least like reaching out, that’s when we need to the most.

During a particularly low period of my life, even the basic activities of daily living were difficult. I found myself just trying to get through each day, plodding along as if in a daze.

Feeling totally burnt out, I continued my part-time job at the hospital, but with low energy and little motivation. Toward the end of my shift one day, I heard a baby crying and went to investigate. To my surprise, I discovered that the baby’s mother stepped out of the room, and the baby had ended up with his feet sticking out of the crib. I lowered the rail, picked up the redheaded three-month-old, and he immediately quit crying.

I will never forget what happened that magic moment. My own pain was forgotten as I reached out to comfort another. Amazingly, as the baby was comforted in my arms, I found myself also comforted
For years I had heard people say that we are often healed as we reach out to heal others—that our needs are met not by focusing our attention on ourselves, but by seeking to meet the needs around us. But until that moment of compassion for a needy infant in the hospital, I had never experienced this amazing principle for myself.

Are you familiar with the story of Jesus healing a man’s withered hand by commanding him to stretch it out? (Mark 3:1-5) The man obediently complied, and in doing so he abandoned the place where he was stuck. His hand was perfectly restored!

What if we stretched out our withered hands, leaving behind our debilitating self-centeredness by giving practical proofs of love? Instead of nursing our hurt and focusing inward, what if we used our energy to help others by making meals for new moms or people who are disabled? What about buying a box of 20 thank-you cards and writing a special note to someone once a week?

My dad recently told me a touching story about this principle. In the early 1940s, World War II was still raging, and Americans faced rationing for the sake of the war effort. There were many hobos roaming the countryside, many of whom were homeless, disabled soldiers who were home from the war. Many of these military heroes had lost legs or arms trying to defend the cause of freedom, and it was gut-wrenching to see them in such a deplorable condition.

Dad shared how his mom, my  Grandma , used to reach out to these hobos in their distress. They would stop by her tiny house, and she would offer them whatever food she had available. Sometimes this was a hot plate or bowl from her dinner, but more often it was just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She would talk with these wounded men and hear their stories as they sat on her back steps and ate.
Grandma had six kids, a meager income, and not a lot of material possessions. But she gave what she had. My grandma couldn’t give the soldiers back their missing legs or arms. But she helped to at least restore some of their dignity. And in the process of helping these needy souls, I’m sure my grandma found some additional peace and solace for her own soul.

So if you are still living with the loose ends of grief or depression, I have good news: There’s hope for your healing. But you’ll probably have to reach out and touch somebody with your formerly withered hand. This may be as simple as calling to encourage someone who’s been down, or it may be as grand as throwing a big party for a friend. Or God may call you to do something you deem impossible.

So what are you waiting for? Even in your weakness, you have the power to make this world a better place.
What about you?

•Write down one or two actions God is leading you to take in order to be a blessing to others in the near future.
 

Healthy Eating Keeps The Heart Beating

As a Wellness Nurse I am passionate about healthy eating. How much food do you need? What kind of food do we need?

The USDA’s My Pyramid food guide provides information about how much of each food group you should eat daily for a healthy balanced diet. To find the amounts that are right for you go to www.mypyramid.gov

Nutrition Tips:

It can be difficult to determine how much of each food group is on your plate. Try measuring out your portion sizes for a variety of foods over several days and compare what you have been eating to the recommended amount. You may be surprised!

For more information visit www.mypyramid.gov or

www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov

> Get healthy fats mostly from fish, nuts, avacados and olive oil.

> Limit saturated fats, trans fats or hydrogenated fats and sodium by checking the Nutrition Facts label.

> Choose food and beverages low in sugars. Added sugars add calories but few if any healthy nutrients.

> Here is a fruit and vegetable example of how easy it is to get what you need: 4 ounces or ½ cup of fruit juice with breakfast, ½ of a banana for a snack, 2 cups of leafy green salad topped with other vegetables for lunch, and ½ of a sweet potato and ½ cup of green beans for dinner. This gives you 5 servings of fruits and vegetables!

> Drink plenty of water, at least ½ your body weight in ounces. Your body needs it, it can help you feel full and it contains no calories.

Track your diet & nutrition:

Use the Daily Health Journal to keep track of how much you eat.

             Record everything you eat and drink each day. Write it down right after eating to be the most accurate.

             Write down the amount, time of day, place and feelings or comments about the situation. This will help you identify patterns in your food intake.

What about you?

Nutrition is one large piece of our health picture. How does your picture look?

Discover the Secret of Serenity

This month In The Source we are focusing on the Life Area of Rest & Relaxation . I have learned this painful  lesson through the school of hard knocks.

Serenity isn’t something that comes easily to me. On a scale of one to ten, there are times I would probably score a negative five! But I’m learning the secret of serenity, and this famous prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr has helped:

 God grant me

the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the Courage to change the things I can,

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

 I have found myself reciting this prayer many times during my life, particularly when encountering difficult circumstances that were out of my control to change. On such occasions, it was easy to feel helpless and hopeless; frustrated that there was nothing I could do to alter the situation. Such times can be hard on anyone, but they are especially exasperating to someone like me, who wants to tie up all the loose ends of life!

 We might as well go ahead and face this fact: It’s simply not in our power to change all the things we would like to change. So rather than spinning our wheels in futile effort or continually knocking our heads against a brick wall, we must accept the things we cannot change.

 In the children’s book The Worry Tree, worry is described as a tomato plant who gets so much attention that it sprouts and shoots out of control, producing more tomatoes than anyone knows what to do with. The author encourages children to create a worry box in which to deposit their anxieties. Then, once a day, they open their worry box and share its contents with a trusted adult, who discusses how each concern will be addressed.

 One reason the Serenity Prayer is so effective is that it brings us back to a realization that we are mere mortals. It reminds us that it is the height of arrogance to think we will be able to change unchangeable circumstances by our own human efforts.

 If you are a praying person, you know the power of unloading your burden to One who is all-powerful.

 Not a praying person yet? It often helps to simply write your worries and concerns on a list or in a journal. Just get it off your chest and onto paper. This isn’t magic, but it often can help make you feel less overwhelmed.

 Embrace the freedom that serenity brings. Yes, bad things will happen sometimes. That’s life. It goes with the territory, and sometimes we simply don’t understand why we go through the things we do.

 But as Reinhold Niebuhr concludes: “The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity but the achievement of serenity within and above it.” You see, even though questions may remain, serenity enables us to rise above life’s “incongruities.”

 Worrying today won’t make your tomorrow any better. But it may give you more gray hair and wrinkles.

 What about you?

 •             Take time to create two separate lists. On the first list, write down things you cannot change, but simply must accept. On the second list, write down matters you believe can be changed by the proper effort and perseverance.

 

Younger Next Year

I love the book Younger Next Year. In a nutshell the authors state that when we exercise our bodies release chemicals of growth and repair but when we are sedentary our bodies release chemicals of breakdown and decay. This is very motivating to me!

Regular physical activity is fun and healthy and people are becoming more active every day. Being more active is safe for most people. However, some people should check with their doctor before starting an exercise program.

How much exercise do you need?

The USDA, the American Heart Association and the American College of Sports Medicine all recommend that you get at least 30 minutes per day of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week. (This activity is in addition to your daily activities). About 60-90 minutes per day may be needed for weight loss. You may want to start at less than 30 minutes and gradually work your way up.

 Exercise Tips:

> Include a warm-up, some stretching, and a cool down in each exercise sessions.

> Choose a variety of exercises you enjoy. The best exercise is the one you will do. The best combination includes aerobic exercise, strength training, and stretching activities spread out over the week.

> Workout at a moderate intensity. How can you tell if it is moderate? Use the talk- sing test. If you can talk without gasping while you are exercising, you are working in a good moderate range. If you can sing, you are not working hard enough. If you can’t talk without gasping for breath you are working too hard. You can also use your THR, Target Heart Rate to monitor your exercise intensity. (See (See THR Chart). If you are taking a Beta Blocker you will need to monitor your exercise intensity using RPE, Rate of Perceived Exertion (See RPE Chart).

.> Keep exercise clothes and shoes handy in your car or office, so you can walk during your lunch break or after work.

What about you?

Track your exercise: Use your health journal tracker to write down the time of day, type of physical activity you did and for how long.

Go to http://www.mynutrinurse.com/ to request a free copy of my Wellness plan. 

Learn About Modifiable Health Risk Factors

Learn About Modifiable Health Risk Factors

I am a one of the Baby Boomer Chix and I am also a fitness nurse. I have helped hundreds of people lose weight and transform their lives and health.  That is why I want to address health risk factors.

If you want to get the most benefit for improving your health, identify your modifiable risk factors which are behaviors you can change right now to improve your health in the future.

 Alcohol use: If you drink, drink in moderation, no more than one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men. Careful use of alcohol can help prevent accidents, liver disease and cancer.

Blood pressure: Ideal blood pressure is below 120/80. Controlling your blood pressure can prevent heart attack and stroke. Regular exercise and a healthy diet are keys.

Blood sugar: The risk of Type 2 diabetes can be reduced with a healthy, balanced diet and regular exercise.

Cholesterol: Total cholesterol should be less than 200. Healthy cholesterol levels can reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke. A nutritious diet, one low in saturated and trans fats, and regular exercise are vital.

Exercise: Get moderate exercise at least 30 minutes a day, most days of the week. A great mix includes walking, aerobic exercise, strength straining and stretching. An active lifestyle can help you manage stress, avoid obesity, keep you mentally sharp, and maintain vitality for life.

Nutrition: Get…A good diet will lower your risk of many conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis and obesity.

Safety: Wear your seatbelt, use bicycle and motorcycle helmets, drive defensively, and eliminate hazards in your home. Also, to protect your back, make sure to lift heavy objects using proper body mechanics.

Stress: Manage stress by saying “no” when you need to, getting regular exercise, and using stress management techniques like yoga or meditation. Managing stress can help protect your immune system and help you avoid a wide variety of health concerns.

Substance Abuse: Avoid or stop using illegal drugs, and use prescription drugs only as prescribed. Doing so can help prevent drug addiction as well as prevent unexpected side effects and negative drug interactions. Getting professional help is often the best way to deal with substance abuse.

Tobacco use: Quitting tobacco can help protect you from various cancers, heart disease, and stroke. Ask your doctor about treatments and programs that can help you quit smoking.

Weight: Achieve and maintain a healthy weight by eating wisely and getting regular exercise. You’ll look better, feel better, and avoid many health conditions like heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

What about you?

Have you identified your healthy habits? What unhealthy behaviors do you need to change?

To request a free Wellness Plan go to http://www.mynutrinurse.com/

When You’re in a Pit, Watch for a Rope

When You’re in a Pit, Watch for a Rope

Someone once remarked that her life was like a bowl of cherries—but all she had to show for it was the pits! In my life’s journey, I have found myself stuck in a pit more than once. It is a challenging place to be in, for often the sides of a pit are slippery and impossible to climb. All you can do is sit and wait for someone to help you get out.

Maybe you remember the amazing 2010 story of 33 heroic Chilean miners who were trapped 2,300 feet underground when their mine caved in. The mixed crew of experienced miners and technical support personnel were able to survive for 69 days in the 121-year-old mine before they were rescued. Millions of people around the world watched the final scenes in delight as the miners were brought safely to the surface.

Sometimes we fall into a pit because of our own foolishness, but at other times we get there because of someone else’s negligence or malice—“with a little help from our friends.”

When you are in a pit, it’s easy to feel as if you are the only one who has ever been in such a place. But that is far from the truth. Everyone ends up in a pit from time to time.  

This is a very good time to pray.

As you pray, picture a rope coming down into your pit of despair. To escape, you must stand up and ready yourself for the ascent to safety. You grasp the rope with all your might as it pulls you back to the surface to solid, firm ground.

But what about the times when you haven’t the strength to stand and hold onto the rope on your own strength? Visualize your ultimate hero descending into the pit on the rope. Then picture your Superhero scooping you into his arms and carrying you back up to safety.

Of course, many people go through life refusing to acknowledge their need for God’s help. Some may even deny His existence, while others like to say that He helps those who help themselves.

Ruth Bell Graham put this in perspective well: “God helps those who help themselves, but there are times when we are quite incapable of helping ourselves. That’s when God stoops down and gathers us in His arms like a mother lifts a sick child, and does for us what we cannot do for ourselves.”

If you’re in a pit today, God wants to pull you out. But you must acknowledge your need for Him and keep your eyes out for the rope He sends to bring you to safety.

A pit can be a lonely place, even if 32 other comrades are stuck there with you. But some of history’s greatest heroes spent some time there before their rescue came:

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,  out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock  and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth… (Psalm 40:1-3)

From the vantage point of the slimy pit, it is hard to imagine ever being on firm ground again. But cry out for help. There is hope!

What about you?

Describe any pits you’ve experienced in the past, and

Bullet Points for a Healthy Vibrant Female Body

As a fitness nurse I have helped hundreds of people lose weight ove the years. Here is a  list of  bullet points for a healthy vibrant female body

• The majority of active adult women are walkers, joggers and group exercisers.  Only a small percentage participates in regular strength training. 
• The average American woman adds approximately 10 pounds of fat/decade and looses 5 pounds of muscle/decade.
• Fat Free Mass-A pound of lean muscle burns 35-50calories/day at rest……So, as women age and are losing muscle mass, their natural ability to lose weight also decreases.  Participants in the Framingham Study showed an average weight gain of 25 pounds between the ages of 30-60, despite metabolic testing that showed they were expending 99.9% of the calories they ingested through their activity.   Take home message……It wasn’t their diet that caused the weight gain; it was the loss of lean muscle tissue and changes in their hormone levels.  Women HAVE TO strength train!   (Neat fact-A pound of fat only burns 2 calories/day at rest.)
• Caloric restriction below energy needs sets off a survival mechanism in the body which results in a lowering of the metabolic rate on average by 15%.  In addition to lowering the metabolic rate, studies show an increase in fat storage when participants ate too few calories.  Other studies have compared elite gymnasts and runners; those with the highest body fat percentages had the lowest calorie intake.  Take home message……..although calories in must be less than calories expended for weight loss, a person can make weight loss a lot harder by eating too few calories. 
• Hormones:
• Estrogen peaks during pre-menstrual period.  High estrogen levels increase insulin sensitivity→ rapid drops in blood sugar→cravings.  High estrogen and insulin levels are also associated with water retention, bloating, cramping and mood swings.  Take home message…..These issues are biological and REAL! 
• Progesterone peaks following ovulation and causes an increase in body temperature and metabolic rate.  During this increase, a woman burns 200-300 calories more per day!  This is a good thing!  Take home message……At menopause, women loose the advantage of this additional calorie burn every month.  Loss of this function alone could cause a weight gain of 4-6 pounds/year if there is not adjustment in energy expenditure or food intake.  So, menopausal women either need to decrease caloric intake, exercise more or add more muscle mass just to maintain their weight. 
• Cortisol is one of the body’s stress hormones.  Increased cortisol causes the body to get more efficient at storing fat, especially in the abs, hips, thighs and waist.  Take home message…..high stress levels and poor sleep habits make it hard to lose weight.  In addition, any stress to your body causes cortisol to be released…so smoking or even over-exercising also inhibit weight loss.  If you are working out too much and not losing the weight you want, consider cutting back the exercise.
• Exercise plan-A one-year study by Morse & Colleagues in 2006 revealed outstanding results using 1,500 peri-menopausal women in their 40s-60s.  Program components:
• Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor.
• Cardio activity was incorporated at a low to moderate intensity level, not to exceed 80% max HR. 
• High load training proved best for bone mineral density so weight, not reps, was increased when load became too easy.
• Exercises were done standing to provide additional weigh bearing benefit for bone density. 
• Core training exercises were added with Time Under Tension (moving through a weighted exercise slowly and controlled).
• Stretching was incorporated to reduce stiffness.
• Cardio vs. Strength?  Clients with average activity level can burn 5-7 calories/minute during aerobic exercise and 5-8 calories/minute performing strength training.  Take home message…..don’t fall into the trap of thinking that cardio is better for fat burn.   Both are great!

(Summarized lecture by Scott Josephson M.S., R.D.   AFPA Conference October 17^th, 2008   by Mary Buchan, RN   My Nutri Nurse)

When It Hurts, Say Ouch

I’ll never forget the lessons I learned the day little Danny Kasberg fell off the five-foot-high plastic slide on the playground. He and some of the other three-year-olds were being a bit careless, and before I could intervene Danny fell flat on his back with a loud thud. Expecting him to scream out in pain, all eyes turned toward Danny to see if he was OK.

A bit stunned, Danny exclaimed “Ouch” and got up to resume his playing.

There are some profound lessons in this simple story! First, Danny said “Ouch.” So often we feel that we must hide our pain. In some many circles it is seen as a weakness to acknowledge that you are sick, in emotional pain, or struggling.

But young Danny hadn’t learned to “stuff” his pain yet—he said “Ouch.”

Although it was certainly appropriate for Danny to acknowledge that the fall hurt him, he had a decision to make at that point. As he lay on his back and looked around the playground, he could see everyone staring at him to see his reaction. It would have been easy to “milk” the moment and try to get some sympathy and attention from those of us who witnessed his calamity. Yet Danny chose to get up immediately and begin playing again.

In contrast to Danny, many of us fall prey to one of two extremes: Either we refuse to say “Ouch” and acknowledge our distress; or we choose to remain on the ground as long as we can, looking for as much comfort as we can engender. Some of us go far beyond saying “Ouch”—we lie on the ground for hours and wallow in self-pity. We might even suggest that someone call 911 to come to our aid. Danny didn’t know about 911 yet.

When I was about Danny’s age, I tripped on the neighbor’s gravel driveway and cut my skinny knees. At the sight of blood, I screamed like crazy and was combative toward my friends when they tried to help me. Finally, our neighbor Bob Konkel saw my plight, picked me up and carried me home, where my mom bandaged my wounds.

Was I injured? Yes. Did I overreact? Absolutely. Instead of merely saying “ouch,” I was so melodramatic that you might have thought I was dying!

Yet Danny refused to exaggerate his trauma, and he also avoided another common pitfall: He didn’t blame his plight on someone else. How easy it would have been to get into the tattle-tail mode and complain that the whole thing was “Johnny’s fault.” But while blame-shifting momentarily makes us feel better, in the long run it does us no good.

Many people find their life unraveling today because they have not learned Danny’s lessons. Some are stuck because they have never said “Ouch” and asked for healing. Others are lying on the floor, refusing to get up and resume their lives again. And some are stuck because they insist on blaming others rather than taking responsibility for their own mishaps.

The next time you find yourself falling on your back, remember that it’s all right to say “Ouch.” But don’t forget to get back up and start playing again.

What about you?

Do you have a few trustworthy people in your life who you can safely say “Ouch” to when you are really hurting?

Nurture Your Health, Inside and Out

“The first wealth is health.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I grew up in Ohio, where there are lots of dandelions in the summer. Although there are various ways to get rid of dandelions, the best way is to dig them out by the roots.

But digging isn’t fast or easy. Someone may try a shortcut, trying to rid their yard of these troublesome yellow weeds by simply picking the heads off the dandelions. Within a short time, the yard will look great. No more dandelions—at least not until they reemerge in a week or so!

I’ve found that many people use this same approach in trying to improve the troublesome areas of their lives. They sincerely want their “yard” to look better, but they don’t take time to deal with the true roots of their problems. When addressing a health issue, a load of debt, difficulty maintaining close relationships, an addiction, or a proneness to worry, they tend to skip right past the spiritual and emotional components. Like the unseen dandelion roots, these hidden causes lurk beneath the surface and do us harm.

You see, the first rule for maximizing your total health is to nurture yourself from the inside out. The roots of many physical, social and emotional problems are found in the deep places of the heart—in your spiritual life.

As a wellness nurse, I witnessed this unmistakable relationship between inner and outer health on a daily basis. Even though I often attempted to help people with issues such as obesity, diabetes, insomnia and high blood pressure, it became increasingly clear that these problems weren’t exclusively physical in nature.

For example, those struggling with obesity often must address the spiritual and emotional turmoil that prompts them to overeat. Several of my patients were able to significantly lower their blood pressure by taking time to attend meditation classes at the YMCA—where they could quiet their hearts and focus their minds on their spiritual life.

Likewise, researcher Kenneth Pelletier conducted a surprising five-year investigation of the health benefits that come from a life of altruism and the caring influence of family and friends. Amazingly, the absence of close, loving relationships posed a risk of disease just as significant as traditional risk factors such as adverse genetics, poor nutrition or a lack of exercise.

This means we must be good stewards not just of our physical makeup, but also of our mental, emotional, social and spiritual personhood. Although people may act as if all these parts act independently, they’re actually vitally connected. Each area is critically important and must be properly nurtured. If one area is neglected, it will have an adverse effect on the others.

Health is not automatic in any of these areas. It’s a choice—a matter of countless decisions we make every day. To enhance our overall wellness and keep fit spiritually, emotionally and physically, we need intentionality and self-discipline.

So, how do you maintain your spiritual health? For me, disciplines which play an important role in maintaining my spiritual health include prayer, meditation, study of the Bible and worship.

How can you enhance your mental and emotional health? I do this by journaling, talking with close friends, reading novels, and doing fun things like seeing movies (cinema therapy!), going to concerts, shopping, or getting my hair and nails done. I have also found it very therapeutic to play my guitar and write songs. Maybe you enjoy gardening, cooking, taking a bubble bath, playing video games, or engaging in some hobby that replenishes your emotional tank.

And what about keeping physically fit? So many people neglect this. But I’ve found that my spiritual and mental conditions are greatly enhanced when I also take care of my body. Getting a good night’s sleep, eating nutritious meals, reducing stress, and taking time for an exercise class or a brisk walk in the park are important ingredients in my overall well-being.

For more ideas and details about nurturing your physical, spiritual, and emotional health, visit my website at MyNutriNurse.com to get my free Wellness Plan Booklet. You can also go to ILiveTheSource.com

What about you?

•             Balance is an important part of a healthy life. Consider each of the following five areas, and determine on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the highest) how well you are doing in self-care:

Spiritual – Mental –Emotional –Social –Physical

To request a free Wellness Plan go to http://www.mynutrinurse.com/

Younger Next Year

I love the book Younger Next Year. In a nutshell the authors state that when we exercise our bodies release chemicals of growth and repair but when we are sedentary our bodies release chemicals of breakdown and decay. This is very motivating to me!

Regular physical activity is fun and healthy and people are becoming more active every day. Being more active is safe for most people. However, some people should check with their doctor before starting an exercise program.

How much exercise do you need?

The USDA, the American Heart Association and the American College of Sports Medicine all recommend that you get at least 30 minutes per day of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week. (This activity is in addition to your daily activities). About 60-90 minutes per day may be needed for weight loss. You may want to start at less than 30 minutes and gradually work your way up.

 Exercise Tips:

> Include a warm-up, some stretching, and a cool down in each exercise sessions.

> Choose a variety of exercises you enjoy. The best exercise is the one you will do. The best combination includes aerobic exercise, strength training, and stretching activities spread out over the week.

> Workout at a moderate intensity. How can you tell if it is moderate? Use the talk- sing test. If you can talk without gasping while you are exercising, you are working in a good moderate range. If you can sing, you are not working hard enough. If you can’t talk without gasping for breath you are working too hard. You can also use your THR, Target Heart Rate to monitor your exercise intensity. (See (See THR Chart). If you are taking a Beta Blocker you will need to monitor your exercise intensity using RPE, Rate of Perceived Exertion (See RPE Chart).

.> Keep exercise clothes and shoes handy in your car or office, so you can walk during your lunch break or after work.

What about you?

Track your exercise: Use your health journal tracker to write down the time of day, type of physical activity you did and for how long.

Go to http://www.mynutrinurse.com/ to request a free copy of my Wellness plan.